


Muggle Studies

by viajera_pensativa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cheating, Cunnilingus, F/M, Masturbation, Memory Charms, Obliviation, Public Transportation, Semi-Public Sex, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 19:30:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18394892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viajera_pensativa/pseuds/viajera_pensativa
Summary: Ron has a thing for Muggle women, even though he is with Hermione, which puts Harry in a difficult position.





	Muggle Studies

**Author's Note:**

> Another old story I am cross-posting. I am amazed at all the creative details I came up with when I was younger. The idea for this story is more concept based than character based, but I'm curious if people think it could ever be considered in character at all. Please share any thoughts in reviews!
> 
> I wrote this in June 2009 if anyone is curious.

“Hey, mate, check out that girl's bum,” Ron muttered out the side of his mouth as he nudged Harry, who was sitting next to him on a stool facing the street. They were in Beer 'n' Breakfast, the only pub they could find open at nine in the morning on a Monday. The pub had double-paned glass for its front walls, giving them a view of the people walking to and fro on the streets, heading to work.

“Which one?” Harry queried, scanning the numerous young women walking by.

“The one in the purple skirt, with the yellow hair. Golly, she's enjoying the summer, eh?” Ron remarked, eying the girl's bare legs, exposed to the sun due to the shortness of her skirt. His head turned to follow her until she passed out of his field of vision.

“Unlike the rest of the crowd,” Harry replied, bored. He had noticed that most of the people going by were dressed in drab suits- office attire. “Shall we head out to the train stop then?” he asked as he stood up. “Don't want to miss it again, you know.”

Ron and Harry had intended to come into the city to purchase tickets to the World Cup, which was coming up in a few weeks. A few shops in Diagon Alley were selling them. They'd woken up too hungover to Apparate though, after a night of partying with George and Lee Jordan. Then, to make matters worse, the Floo system wasn't working properly and had deposited both of them in a house in Dragon Alley, home of a frail-looking old witch. She had immediately begun to complain about how the Ministry couldn't even handle transportation anymore. Upon leaving her house, they saw a city train just leaving down the street, but run as they might, it was too late. That was how they had ended up drinking Muggle beer while studying the Muggles that walked by.

“Yeah, I suppose.” Ron upturned his mug, draining it of the bitter liquid inside. Harry paid the bartender, thankful he had some Muggle money on him. They stepped into the sunshine and sauntered down the street. Ron was looking all around, obviously checking out every female under 30.

“Y'know, robes sure do conceal a lot, even the more modern ones...” he paused, distracted as a raven-haired girl walked by in a tank top and short shorts. “Muggle girls just let it all hang out.” He swallowed.

“Ron, I think that's what Hermione – and hundreds of other girls – might call a chauvinist thing to say,” Harry put in, his voice dispassionate. Really he didn't mind Ron checking out the Muggles. He had shut off the part of his brain that registered attractiveness though, worried that Ginny might not appreciate him partaking in such visual indulgences.

“Well, she's one to talk. You should see the way she fawns over the book jackets of her favorite authors,” Ron snorted.

“Book jackets?”

“Yeah, you know, the covers of books. They have pictures of the authors. The authors aren't shy, either. They wink and wave, flirting with her. One time I caught her masturbating while the author's picture did the same. Guess what book it was? _Genius Spells for Dedicated Witches_. Its really hilarious. I told I'd get her some magical porn if she wants, but she just turned red and said 'that surely isn't necessary'.” Ron guffawed.

Magical porn. Naked pictures that move. Wow. No matter how long Harry lived as a wizard, he still was amazed at the new things he discovered.

They arrived at the train station with minutes to spare, or so the huge digital clock outside a bank claimed. Harry wanted to ask if Ron had been jealous when he'd found his girlfriend jilling off with a stranger's photo, and if the author was a wizard or a witch. He thought this might be a tad too personal though, since the train stop was now filling up with people.

 

 

“Harry,” Ron whispered, “have you ever, uh, you know, like, done anything with any Muggle girls?”

Not sure he had heard correctly, Harry looked up from his copy of The Daily Prophet (which he had hidden inside The Daily Mail so as not to draw attention to moving pictures). He glanced over at Ron, who was obviously staring at someone at the other end of the train car and trying to appear as if he wasn't (very ineffectively). Following Ron's line of sight, he noticed that the girl they had seen earlier, the one in the purple skirt, was sitting a few seats ahead of them, drinking a cup of coffee and luckily looking the other way. If she hadn't been she would surely have noticed the tall red-haired young man eyeballing her. She shook her hair to one side and adjusted her weight, inspiring Ron to fidget in his seat.

So Harry had heard correctly. He reflected for a moment, curious as to why Ron would think he had ever had any romantic experiences while living with the Dursleys. Being best friends, there were not many secrets between them these days.

“Well, that's a funny question. The simple answer is no. By the time I was old enough to think about girls like that, I was after Cho, and then Ginny. I had some small crushes on girls when I was in primary school, but I didn't even know I was a wizard, or that I was being raised as a Muggle, back then.” Harry folded his newspaper up in his lap, and looked at his friend with intrigue. “Have you?”

“Uh, no, but I've always wanted to.” Ron blushed. “Maybe it sounds a bit odd, I just have a curiosity, like. I think it might be interesting, you know, fool around with a Muggle, then once we're going at it, pull out my other wand – the wooden one – and surprise her with that French tickler charm, or something like that. I think it'd be fun.”

Ron seemed to have forgotten the intimate nature of their conversation. His voice had steadily risen throughout his Muggle fantasy confession, and although he was still speaking quite lowly, a balding man sitting directly in front of them peeked over his shoulder at them, looking confused and alarmed.

 _“Obliviate_ ,” Harry murmured, pointing his wand at the man from beneath his coat. He put only enough power into the spell to make him forget the past five minutes. There was no use taking chances, but he didn't want the man to think he was going prematurely senile. “Maybe you want to talk quieter, eh?” he suggested to Ron, but his friend was no longer in his seat. He had gotten up and walked the length of the train car to boldly ask the blond woman if he could sit and chat for a moment. Harry watched, bemused, but also stricken that Ron could flirt so outrageously despite being in a committed relationship. Wouldn't Hermione be upset if she knew? Then an even more unsettling thought flew into his mind: would he have to tell Hermione? If he didn't, was he being a poor friend to her?

Harry grew increasingly more uncomfortable as he watched his friend becoming very friendly with the stranger. He had to admit, she was quite attractive. It was also becoming apparent that she felt the same way about Ron, as he casually put his arm on the seat behind her and she inched closer to him.

This was getting out of hand. Surely Ron was disregarding the expectations of his relationship with his girlfriend. Harry would never do anything like that; he knew Ginny would feel hurt if he did.

Suddenly, Harry's jaw dropped in disbelief as he saw Ron and the mysterious woman disappear into the small bathroom at the end of the car-- together!

 

 

While Harry was panicking over the newly discovered disloyalty of one of his best friends to the other, the purple skirted female, whose named Ron had learned was Sasha, was pulling off his shirt in the cramped train restroom. “Ouch!” she yelped as she banged her elbow on the paper towel dispenser. But she continued undressing him while he kissed her all over her face, neck and ears, and squeezed her breasts, gently pinching her nipples through her cotton shirt as he rolled his hands down and around her soft flesh. His boner pulsed when he realized that she wasn't wearing a bra. She pushed him up against the wall, making sure to avoid the paper towel dispenser this time, one of her legs up on the toilet.

“It's very nice to meet you, Sasha,” Ron joked as his trembling hands explored her back, her belly, the thin skirt hanging from her hips. He pulled at the loose end of the knot that held her skirt up, and it fell off of her-- directly into the toilet.

“Shit-”

“No, don't worry about it, I'll fix it. In a few minutes, but first...” Ron picked her up, his hands reaching under her thighs, and set her on the sink counter. Sasha felt one of his hands leave her skin for a second, and she thought she heard him whisper something, but then she noticed that her panties were off. Wow, this guy was talented. Hopefully he was as talented at getting her off as he was at turning her on.

Ron looked over Sasha's head and into the mirror, where he saw her back, her golden locks, and his face. He couldn't believe this was happening. He bent his head down to kiss her, their lips and tongues softly and fully meeting, sucking, he felt her hands at his waist-- she was undoing his trousers, pulling down his fly, reaching into his boxers-- oh and then her hands were on his cock and it was amazing. So new and refreshing, so wild and adventurous, he opened his eyes as they kissed and stared at the face of this girl he had just met that was now rocking his world. He moved his hand to touch her cunt, reaching his fingers into her pubic hair, stroking the outside of her lips, stroking up and down, until his fingers slipped inside her because she was so wet, and then he knew he couldn't wait any longer. They were in a public bathroom after all. He pulled her closer to the edge of the sink and pushed his dick up against her, eliciting a moan of craving.

Sasha pulled him towards her, lifting up her bum as she did so so that he would slide right inside her-- this was so hot! They quickly began to rock together, once again she felt one of his hands move away, he took his lips off of her and she definitely heard him whisper something this time, but he kept screwing her, so she didn't care if he was crazy and talking to himself. She was so excited it seemed she was no longer even on a train, the sound of the steam engine having been completely replaced with their heavy panting and their sweaty stomachs slapping together. He—what was his name again?-- had one hand on her back, where was his other hand? She wished he would touch her nipples more.

“ _Cunnilingus artificialis_ ,” she heard him say, and was extremely confused as to why he was speaking Latin while fucking her, but her confusion immediately gave way to overwhelming pleasure, it felt like he was giving her head, not banging her! How was he doing that? Did he have a tongue attached to his penis or what? Her head spun as she moaned louder and louder, fucking him so hard she accidentally knocked the paper towel dispenser off the wall, but not caring if the other passengers heard.

She felt a bubble of orgasm spinning in the space between her clit and the pleasure spots inside her pussy. She felt it grow bigger with each thrust, felt her whole body tense up, her voice catch in her throat for a second. This surprise lover, Ron, was babbling about how this was a dream come true. She felt the bubble of orgasm expand to include the whole lower half of her body, she squeezed around him and then it burst; she came, spasming against him. He was coming too, shouting, “Oh, Merlin!” What the fuck?

Sasha regained her sense of stability, and eyed the fellow now grinning at her naked body, his cum dripping out of her and into the sink. “How did you do that?” she inquired, blown away.

“Well,” he said mischievously, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a wooden stick, “I wish I could say I am just naturally that good, but the truthful answer is that I am a wizard and I just used a pleasure spell on you. I also put a silencing spell around this bathroom before we really got going, so no one heard us screaming.”He flicked his wand at her skirt, which was now soaking wet in the toilet, and it sprung into the air, suddenly dry as it had been when she was sitting in the train car minding her own business half an hour ago. “Unfortunately, I just broke the law, and the Wizarding Secrecy Act would have me erase your memory. I don't really want to though, I think that would be very unfair. Can you promise not to tell anyone that you met a real wizard?” Ron asked nervously.

This was too much. She knew she wasn't dreaming, but what was happening? Her skirt...it was in the toilet, now it was dry. That orgasm...she had never came the first time she had sex with anyone before. And now she was supposed to not tell anyone about it! Who would believe her anyway, though? She nodded. “I guess not. I'm quite shocked at all this.” Now she felt awkward. “I suppose we won't be seeing each other again then?”

He shook his head. “Probably not. I don't blame you if you hold it against me.”

“No, I don't. This has definitely been a, um, positive experience, regardless. Have a nice life then, huh?” Her state of shock was fading, and questions were popping into her head like stockbrokers pop into the break room for caffeine between meetings. _There are wizards? Are they like, regular human beings, or do they have special genes? Where do they all live?_

“I'm going to slip out the door, erase all the passengers memories-- except for my friend's-- of the thirty seconds it takes me to go out the door and sit down, then you come out in like a minute. Then neither of us needs to explain ourselves to them, OK?” Once she nodded, he slipped out of the door and closed it behind him.

 

****ENDING ONE****

Five minutes later, Ron and Harry were leaving King's Cross. “I can't believe you, Ron. Are you going to keep this from Hermione?” Harry vehemently demanded.

“No. Well, maybe. Until the time is right to talk to her about it. Technically, I think its alright, because we have discussed exploring things outside our relationship. She read a bunch of books about women's empowerment that basically said monogamy is a tool of sexist oppression.” Ron replied uncomfortably. “And anyways, I was just making up for what I didn't learn in school,” he added brightly.

“What, how to screw in a bathroom that's smaller than a broom closet?” Harry asked sarcastically.

“No. It was one of the courses I didn't have time for, although I probably needed it.” Ron winked as he pushed open the door of The Leaky Cauldron. “Muggle studies.”.

 

 

****ALTERNATIVE ENDING****

Five minutes later, Ron and Harry were leaving King's Cross. “I can't believe you, Ron.. Are you going to keep this from Hermione?” Harry vehemently demanded as they walked in the door of The Leaky Cauldron.

“Not exactly. I have a solution. I can't be held responsible to tell her something that I have forgotten, can I?” Ron asked with a sly smile on his freckled face. They walked out back to the courtyard, and stared at the brick wall that would open to Diagon Alley.

“Wh-what are you talking about, that's absurd-” Harry abruptly cut off his spluttering when he saw Ron pull out his wand. “What are you doing?”

“Obliviating myself. And you, too, if you want. Of course, if I don't obliviate you, you must promise not to tell Hermione what happened. Of course, I won't remember it. And she may or may not believe you. I'm a pretty trustworthy guy, see,” Ron pronounced with a hint of a drawl, sounding unfortunately similar to Draco Malfoy.

“But—but--” Harry had no response to this. This was insane. “I will not have you modifying my memory! How could you even suggest-I mean, we're mates-”

“Harry, get over it. I was just experimenting. There's no use breaking up my relationship with Hermione because of one excursion into- ah, Muggle studies, shall we call it?” He pointed his wand at his own head. “Remember, Harry, if it drives you spare, you can always obliviate yourself. Don't bother bringing this up to me either. If you do manage to convince me it really happened, I will probably just modify my own memory again.” He paused, perhaps relishing the hot sex he had just had one last time. “ _Obliviate_.” Ron's eyes rolled back in his head. Then he looked around.

“Wow, Harry, already here, are we? I am more hungover than I realized, I don't even remember the train ride. Lucky I'm with you, mate.” With that, he pressed a specific brick and an arch opened up into Diagon Alley. “World Cup, here we come!” He started, then looked over his shoulder. “You coming, Harry? Those tickets aren't going to last long you know!” Harry stared at his friend in horror. “What's wrong? You look terrified.”

Harry swallowed. “N-nothing. Let's go get those tickets.” They set off down the road.

 

A few months later, Harry and Ron ended up in London again, drinking beer at the same bar, which Ron did remember going to. As they sat in a corner, this time not facing the window but looking around the bar, Harry caught Ron ogling a curly-haired tall girl at the counter. Ron nudged his friend. “You ever been with a Muggle, Harry? Cuz I reckon I'd like to try shagging one sometime. Be a good chance to really get a great reaction out of the Extra Tongue charm, y'know? Witches take it for granted.”

Harry sighed. If he does it this time, I'm going to let him Obliviate me. Then a horrible thought struck him. What if this had happened before, who knew how many times, and he had allowed himself to be Obliviated? What if Ron had convinced him to participate, and they had modified their memories together? I have to stop this. “Ron...there's something I need to talk to you about.”

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to say that Hermione masturbating with a dust jacket photo is one of the most brilliant ideas I've ever come up with, and I don't just mean in the context of fanfiction (which I haven't even written that much of). I saved this for the end so you could enjoy it in-story better.


End file.
